Why I need to practice examen

It has been a very difficult 2 weeks: a scary prognosis for my oldest daughter, both of our family’s cars breaking down, a busy work season, a kitchen sink leaking and a disposal frozen up, my middle daughter’s birthday slumber party, and on and on it seems to go. My head is spinning with details and arranging and sheer exhaustion. And when I am in a season like this, when I feel pulled in a thousand directions and incapable of doing it all, the first thing to disappear is my rhythms of prayer. “Who has time to pray?”, I whine, “Who can actually be still?”

And it is in a season like this, when I am tired and stressed and scared, that I need to know more than ever that God is near. So, in a near stupor of fatigue, I fall asleep asking the question, “Where did I notice God loving me today?” The answers are simple moments…doing work that I love, a Sunday afternoon nap, laughing at the exuberant energy of kids, goodnight kisses with each our three children, eating a quiet dinner with my husband.

These moments form a tapestry of love and that tapestry is my safety net, protecting me from despair. For in each of these moments, I find more than an opportunity to “count my many blessings” and instead feel the gentle embrace of a loving God, holding me close while also cradling the ones that I love.

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